A great evening...

Last Monday evening, I took the opportunity to do something I haven't done before.

Some would say that since I haven't been doing it all along, that I am not a good Father, but I say 'Repentance is a good thing'.

Zach (my third son) and I went up into the woods to go camping. I thought it was kind of neat to have this "premiere" event be with my youngest boy, as he is very often last on just about every other thing. Last to ride a bike, last to play sports, last to get to go to scout camp, etc. Well, Monday night, he was the first to have a "father and one son camp out".

Due to my job, I didn't get home until about 7 pm, and we really didn't leave until about 8:00. It left us just enough light to get up to Scout Mountain, get the tent set up, get a fire going, and make polish sausage dogs. After dinner, we sat around the fire and Zach got to talk about whatever he wanted to. We talked about Football, his siblings (and the things they do that drive him nuts), school things and such. At about 10:30, we climbed into the tent, said goodnight and went to sleep.

I should say, I went to sleep. About 20 minutes later, Zach shook me and said "Dad, I can't sleep - you're snoring too loud." I said "Sorry" and rolled over. About 5 minutes later, I hear 'Dad, I am going to sleep in the truck". At that point, knowing I was probably going to snore at any position conceded, and off he went.

Lucky Zach.

At about 4:00 am, I was awakened by the sound of Thunder, followed by about 2 hours of near constant light flashes as a Storm rolled over the nearby ridge of Scout Mountain. The thunder wasn't too close, but the rain / hail sure hit hard. I stayed surprisingly dry, but spent the rest of the night in a restless slumber. And, oh, by the way, Kelty makes a great small back packer's tent - but, the poles are aluminum, and that point wasn't lost on me either.

In the morning, I was awakened by the cloudless sky and a sunny disposition. When I opened the cab of the truck, Zach sleepily rolled over and said. Wow, I slept good. He slept through the whole storm!

We had a quick breakfast of Hostess doughnuts, took down the tent, and made it home by 10am.

Looking back, the whole deal took a few hours of my comfort, but was probably worth thousands of hours in memories and most of all, gave each of us the feeling that at that moment in time that we spent together, we were the only two in the world!

I love you, Zach! Thanks for the camp out!

I look forward to doing this with all of my children. Do any of you have traditions that you do with your children, siblings, parents? Pass it on!

A new experience...

This morning I was awakened by a strange thing. My wife's alarm clock. It was 6:45. As I lay there wondering what to do, it occurred to me.... Today is my day off. Marcy is going to work! Ever since the first few weeks of our marriage, I can't remember a time when Marcy had to go to work and I didn't.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

I guess we have turned a corner in our lives. As it turned out, I got out of bed about the time she was closing the door behind her, made waffles for the kids and then got dressed and made my way out the door to go take care of some errands.

I went to Costco and picked up a prescription for her and then delivered it to her at work. Another strange happening. She was so cute at her desk, wearing her pink Polo shirt with company logo on it. Again, a strange happening - she told me to "go ahead - check out the place". So, as she stayed at her desk initially, I started introducing myself to her co-workers. A nice, yet I am afraid, crazy bunch of women.

My usual Kestner charm fell on deaf ears and blind eyes. I could hear the crickets!

So, after a brief pause, I excused myself out of the den of females and went back to work.

It was an interesting, different day.

Things that will kill me...

My wife Marcy is what I would call ultra paranoid. OK - so she has seen things in my family's history that give her pause, but, COME ON! While I have my father's DNA in my system, I also have my mother's. Her Father just died 7 years ago having smoked most of his life - UN FILTERED CAMELS!

Her latest kick:

I just sit down after making myself a Chicken Nacho with all the toppings and maybe an extra dose of Sour Cream. She says in a very condescending voice, I may add, "I guess your tombstone will say 'he loved sour cream more than spending life with his family'".

I create a very good looking salad with both 1000 island and ranch dressing. 'he liked dressings more than spending life with his family'.

I make a bowl of ice cream with some syrup and nuts. 'he liked ice cream and toppings more than life with his family'

I get it. But, I am sick of it. It doesn't have the desired effect. It makes me instantly angry.

My lifestyle is nothing like my father's. I am not as overweight. I am very much more active. My blood pressure is lower - with exception of when I am being told I am going to eat myself to death. In short - even if I improve nothing about my habits, there is no guarantee I am going to die at 56 like my father. Even changing some habits can't guarantee I will make it to 44.

Do I have to make myself miserable to "prove my love" to my family and especially my wife?

I love her and my children more than life itself. But, a miserable me isn't fun to be around.

I guess that I will just start making some small changes and do what I can to try and be / eat more healthy. I don't want to leave her angry with me over some extra sour cream. I would prefer to go out of this life having lived it well. I hope Marcy will put on my tombstone.....

Here lies M. David Kestner. 'he liked having sex with his wife more than living life with her'. Now that would be the ultimate death!

Marcy is OK

Today, I felt as helpless as I have ever felt. At 1205 pm, I watched as my wife was carted off with a stranger to go have a minor surgery. (Minor only in the fact that it is considered "day surgery"). I think the hour I waited was as long as an hour has ever taken to go by. But, the Dr. soon found me in the waiting room and let me know that Marcy was doing fine and that the surgery went well. I am grateful for that!

It gave me a moment to reflect what life could be like without her. I don't even want to go there right now, but I just learned that life is fleeting sometimes...

Thank you to Marcy's friend and Visiting Teacher, Lois Bailey for also being there prior to (in fact she drove Marcy to the hospital), and there also when Marcy got out of the recovery room. Great to have good friends. Crystal, Lois' daughter also stopped by and brought some pretty carnations. Thanks again! Tonight, Melissa Thompson is bringing dinner - I hear it is Mexican! What a blessing to have people care about Marcy, despite her husband!!!

Someday maybe, today, definately not!

In the past few days, I have been given the opportunity to take an outside look at how I am perceived by others. A look in the mirror is healthy, for sure, but not always the funnest adventure.....

It would be safe to say that in my family, we have some very strong, opinionated people. Growing up, we all had a roll to play. While not going into who had what roll, it should be said that I was the eldest child of my parents. I was given a lot of responsibility at a young age to help my parents with daily chores, childcare and in some cases, being grown beyond my years. These experiences have helped shape me into the adult I am today and for the record..... I don't resent the experience AT ALL!

My roll as the eldest in a family of 6 children has, however, set me apart from some of my younger siblings. (There are almost 14 years between myself and my youngest sister.) Most of this "gap" is due to the generation difference, rather than resentment of our rolls. I graduated highschool with the family car being a 1972 VW Bus. Our most prized electronic device as a family was the VCR. By the time my youngest sister graduated, the family was on their fourth car with A/C and a starter that worked! The family had a microwave in the kitchen and Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom.

In short, reality between my younger siblings and me were vastly different - thus, making our view of the world, vastly different.

How can independent people having been born of the same genetic strain be so far different from each other? I submit - Natural surroundings. I am very confidant that this story is NOT unique.

I write this with sadness in my heart that I may never have a "good" relationship with some of my siblings as adults. I would however settle for a "civil" relationship. BUT - Not at the expense of giving up some of my core values. Not at the expense of overlooking what I feel to be abrasive or caustic attitudes from them or their spouses. I can not shed the "protector" aspect of my natural order of birthright. If I see something scary, I do react - in some cases vocally, in some cases in writing. For this, I am resented.

Over the years, I have tried to lessen my vocal objections and just keep my feelings to myself. This has helped somewhat. I think some of my family prefer my "vanilla" flavor. I have even told myself that I "don't care" what happens to by siblings by their choices - in any thing. I can't afford to care - emotionally, caring is too taxing. To this approach, I just come off as an ass.

I have recently been taught that I should always care - just look at things from a different perspective. I will try this latest approach. Maybe it will work. Maybe it won't. I will yet see.

To any of my siblings reading this, know that I am trying. Know that I love each of you for your uniqueness and despite your quirks. I hope you can do the same in return.

Where does the time go?

I think most of you know that I run a small construction business as well as work part time for Costco. I can't remember the last weekend I had off from work (either job). BUT..... I was able to take my family on a 2 day getaway (during my 2 days off from Costco) and we got out of town! The kids have spring break this week and Marcy and I decided to do something fun - My first choice was camping and 4 wheeling, but our favorite spots for that are still all snowed in - so, we "camped" by taking our trailer with us to the KOA in SLC.

We drove down Sunday evening after I got off work and we set up in the dark, went to bed and woke up early the next day to get started. The best part was, we didn't really have any "plans". We went to the Hill Air Force Base Museum. We went to "The Gateway" center in downtown SLC. We had a BBQ with Andrew, Bethany and their kids Monday evening and had a great visit.

On Tuesday we woke up did the "resorts" tour. We saw the ski hills of Solitude, Brighton, The Canyons & Park City. We also drove up to the Olympic park and saw the luge track and long jump slopes. Afterwards, we checked out the Condominiums that I spent about 2 months doing cabinetry for and they let us take a look at what a 1.3 million dollar 2 bedroom condo looks like - very nice, (but not that nice.) We then went to the Park City Outlet mall. We found some killer deals at the Columbia Sportswear Outlet. We then went back to the trailer, ate dinner, watched a movie and fell asleep at our own pace.

Wednesday, we woke up, prepped the trailer and came home in time for me to start my Costco shift.

Most importantly, we had fun as a family - AND IT DID NOT REQUIRE A LOT OF MONEY! I am glad we made time for the family. I have that now to remember as it was immediately back to the grind for me.

Thank you Marcy, Alex, Benjamin, Zach And Gabby! I love you!